Home Sweet Home

We are now in the market to buy a home. We are just not sure exactly where God wants us, but we are willing to openly explore our options. It's really weird how you really don't have any intentions on doing something and God totally turns it around on you. We were, I guess, getting comfortable renting and throwing our money away willingly. Yea, crazy, huh? Don't get me wrong, but we like having a place to live that actually decent and halfway affordable, but why not invest a little extra into something that would actually be ours? We won't have fight over parking with other neighbors or hear what sounds like elephants upstairs above us from the other tenants. We also won't have to worry about stepping a huge pile of dog poo where our loving neighbors above us (who walk like elephants) are too lazy to clean up their dang dog's poo. At least invest in a pooper scooper, geez. I also would like an indoor laundry room. My entire life, I have either had to put on shoes or bundle up in order to go out the door and to the laundry room to do clothes. Please, Lord, please bless me with an indoor laundry room. Other amenities that we would like would be a lovely fenced-in backyard where Jaxon Bo and Loui could run. Ah, how glorious that would be. And also, a full-sized dishwasher; oh yes, that would be wonderful, too! Goodness, I'm getting excited. I must calm down and not be too picky...

I just pray that everything works out the way it is supposed to be. That is all.

Together

"For where two or three come together in my name, I am there with them." ~ Matthew 18:20

Marriage is a new journey, and we have learned so much about each other within the past 3, almost 4, months. This being said, there is so much more to be learned about each other. For example, I must learn how to express my feeling more instead of just assuming that Chris knows what I'm feeling. He can read me very well, but I'm just not used to expressing those feelings. He has gotten better and shows his feeling a lot more than I do! That surprises me about a man, but that just proves to me that he is one heck-of-a-man. I look at Chris everyday and see this amazing man that I am in just awe of. I was reading my purpose driven connection today I get in my email, and it said, "until you realize that you and your mate were placed together for God's purposes, then your marriage will be difficult." Wow. This thought has run through my mind before, but I guess it just took reading it to really sink in. God has a wonderful plan for everything. I look back and realize all the trials and wonderful times Chris and I have had together and it hits me that God knows exactly what our plans are, even if we don't. God knew that Chris and I were meant to be together and has worked us and allowed us to grow together in Him so that when we are growing in our marriage our love for Christ would be amplified!

God is great! Everyday just amazes us and makes our love grow for Him even more!

Blogging about something that I can't blog about.

Loads of things have been happening lately...including some not so good things going on around here involving other people. How can people so cruel? Just the accusations are cruel. Geez. It just makes me think how precious life really is and the plans that God truly has for us. I really can't pinpoint my feelings and wrap my brain around this, but just to know that God knows what will happen, good or bad, is His will alone. Not mine or anyone elses.

Let it be...

Whew, what a whirl wind of feelings and emotions that have gone through my mind and heart the past few weeks! They have been very bittersweet and pondering. Not only did my grandmother come within 24 hours of dying, but Chris and I made the lifelong committment of marriage. Maw Maw was placed in hospice, but she has actually improved over the last few weeks since the wedding. She was not able to make it to the wedding, but she was there in spirit...and by a cell phone. My uncle took out his cell phone with her picture on it and sat it up on the pew so that she could see us get married. I also didn't find out until recently that she had been saving and collecting a set of dishes for me for when I got married. So, daddy and Chris helped move her china cabinet to our apartment and I put those dishes in it. I just can't sit her in the dining room at this computer and not think about her and all the history around that cabinet and the love she put into collecting those dishes. I cannot put into words how it makes me feel...no bad feelings, just a little bit of emptiness here and there and a little bit of joy. Again, the feelings that are so bittersweet...like a lot of things. You have to let it be...God is in control. I'm not sure what His plans are with Maw Maw, but she's still here to finish something or another.

I miss her so much...

Married life is great! We've prepared ourselves very well for this big step, and along with our pastor, who recently resigned earlier this month, we have built our relationship around the basis of God and how He intends marriage. It's tough, but well worth it. Here are some pictures...

Coming along...

So the apartment is coming along slowly but surely! We have our table and chairs, sofa, tv, and bed set up. We are just waiting on our mattress to come in next week and the bedroom will be almost complete! The house still looks naked, but it's going to have to for a while because it's just so hard to furnish all at once! We did find some super cheap curtains at Big Lots and we opened them up and they actually came from Target! Heck yea! Of course, with the good comes the bad...turns out our new microwave's leg is bent and it wobbles. But leave it to my handy man to give it a temporary fix by cardboard! And trust me, we have a LOT of cardboard! We have a pile sitting by the trash can of nothing but cardboard boxes that our things have come out of! Which is a blessing to see how much stuff we have accumulated already from our family and friends! We still don't have a garbage can to take out to the road...since Monroe Utilities won't drop it by! Grr. We also do not have an ice maker, so I'm proud to say that we are living in the stone age with ice trays. But at least we have working appliances. We still do not have our washer and dryer, and we may end up having to go buy one. But things are coming together, and it's all in God's hands!

Maw Maw came home from Heritage Eastside Tuesday back to Park Place. I'm not quite sure if it was a good transition as change really sets her off and causes her to have worse days than normal. Paw Paw always looks hopeful that she will be having a good day, but it's so hard to see him when she is not. I wish she would get better and I hate the dementia does this to people....such suffering. I have faith in God that He will take her up when He is ready. I'm sure she still has something left here on earth to complete.

Emotions

There are so many emotions going on in my head right now. Not only are Chris and I trying to move some of our stuff into our apartment, but today and tomorrow there will be memorials for Joseph. It still doesn't seem real. He was such an inspiration to those around him and had such a presence about him. His body will be brought through Monroe this afternoon between 4 and 5, but I will not be able to attend because we have to pick up that blasted washer and dryer in Morrow. I'm not complaining, but timing is horrible! At least mom and I will be able to go to visitation tomorrow during our lunch.

Also, I meant to update this weekend, but Maw Maw looked pitiful Friday when we went to go see her. She definitely didn't look like herself. She had given herself a black eye on one eye, and cut her other one with a tray that her food was on. I just cannot believe how much she has changed within the last 3 weeks. She went from a normal functioning, bathing, feeding herself person, to someone that cannot comprehend her surroundings. It's the most heartbreaking thing I believe I have ever seen. I try my best to not question God and His plan, but why allow her to suffer like this? She has peace with herself and I have no doubt where she is going. I can't question, just trust that He knows the right timing for all of us.

As I mentioned before, Chris and I get our keys to our apartment today and will start moving things in little by little. Chris will move in once we get our bed and then I will move in once we get married. It's stressful, but I wouldn't rather have it any other way!

Back and Forth

So, yea, I'm wishy washy. We both are. So many things have been going on at once, but we have decided to wait and get married October 30th. Some of you may know that we were considering just getting married one night at the church in the coming weeks by our preacher with our parents there, but we have decided against it. We want to share it with our closest family and friends and we want it to be memorable. We don't want to regret not having those that are most important to us there. So, therefore, it's still going to be a very small wedding (we're talking less than 100 people), but it's still going to be how we like it. That is our final decison and we are sticking to it! Chris is going to live in the apartment by himself and with Jaxon until we get hitched, then I will move in. Yay! Only 50 days!

On a sad note, the world has lost a wonderful man: 1st Lt. Joseph Helton. He was killed in Iraq when his vehicle ran over a roadside bomb. I graduated with him and he will be greatly missed. I still can't believe that he is no longer here. He had such a presence when you were in the same room with him. Rest in peace, Joseph.

Holy blessings from God! I'm trying to put Him first in our money situation. This is something that I am struggling with right now. I am trying to find peace with it.