Wow. That is all I can say right now. I had such a good feeling and faith that God would provide, and He did! He really did! Chris is now working and we could not be happier that this was the true work of God. I believe this is the hardest thing and situation that we have had to deal with, but we have made it through. We really made it through. This is just living proof that if you maintain faith through thick and thin, then you will always make it through. God has truly blessed us and we will see next what is in store for us. A wedding in October? Maybe, we will see.
I am in true awe right now of the amazing power of God. It has made me fall in love with him all over again! I love that feeling, of falling in love with my Savior all over again...it's so replenishing. And we networked, asking our fellow friends and family to pray at 2. Like my grandmother always said, "When two pray together, the prayer will be answered."
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Toxic
Envy.
Money.
Bitterness.
It's the perfect storm of toxic people. I, myself, have struggled with this and have been having a little too much envy of people able to get married. It's one of the biggest things that I have been struggling with. I know God will take care of us, and I have total faith. But, there is always a "but." I can't doubt what He is doing in my life. I must trust. And be positive. I MUST be postive. I can be so negative sometimes and I do not know where is comes from. I guess from the toxic childhood I came from. It wasnt' bad, much better than some, I must say, but my father was always this way. I have strived to be so much unlike him, but sometimes, I just revert back to him.
I must get back to the way things are, and forget about the past. I must leave that behind. I have to start living for now and not pay for the mistakes my father made. I have to. It's so easy to be careless, and hard enough to pay attention to what I am doing to other people. I must be conscious of what I am doing. If I am not careful, I will make the same mistake my father did - I will not let that happen.
Money.
Bitterness.
It's the perfect storm of toxic people. I, myself, have struggled with this and have been having a little too much envy of people able to get married. It's one of the biggest things that I have been struggling with. I know God will take care of us, and I have total faith. But, there is always a "but." I can't doubt what He is doing in my life. I must trust. And be positive. I MUST be postive. I can be so negative sometimes and I do not know where is comes from. I guess from the toxic childhood I came from. It wasnt' bad, much better than some, I must say, but my father was always this way. I have strived to be so much unlike him, but sometimes, I just revert back to him.
I must get back to the way things are, and forget about the past. I must leave that behind. I have to start living for now and not pay for the mistakes my father made. I have to. It's so easy to be careless, and hard enough to pay attention to what I am doing to other people. I must be conscious of what I am doing. If I am not careful, I will make the same mistake my father did - I will not let that happen.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Now.
So, now I'm at a point in my life where I can start becoming the person that I want to be. I have been blessed with a wonderful job that does not cause a lot of stress, but it is demanding, which I love. I have been blessed with a wonderful man that does nothing but support and encourage me. Even though we struggle constantly, we always manage to pull through because of our spirituality.
Chris lost his job back in February, and it has been a constant struggle with envy and jealousy of others that are able to get married. Chris and I got engaged back in October, and we were working on everything and ready to get married this October. I know I have to let that envy go, but I just wonder how everyone is able to afford to get married in this economy. Everytime I turn around, people, like Chris, are losing their jobs. Chris and I have been smart about our financial decisions, but I just do not want to put that added pressure on our relationship and our marriage our first year.
It's so complicated. I know that it is close. I can feel it now. It's within our grasp and we just have to keep reaching out until we grap it. And in the meantime, wait for it to be handed to us...in God's time.
Chris lost his job back in February, and it has been a constant struggle with envy and jealousy of others that are able to get married. Chris and I got engaged back in October, and we were working on everything and ready to get married this October. I know I have to let that envy go, but I just wonder how everyone is able to afford to get married in this economy. Everytime I turn around, people, like Chris, are losing their jobs. Chris and I have been smart about our financial decisions, but I just do not want to put that added pressure on our relationship and our marriage our first year.
It's so complicated. I know that it is close. I can feel it now. It's within our grasp and we just have to keep reaching out until we grap it. And in the meantime, wait for it to be handed to us...in God's time.
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